Me– “It was terrifying!”–I had borrowed Judah’s car (The Kiwi) for a four-hour-drive to a writer’s retreat and discovered that the breaks were going out, resulting in a weekend of nerve-racking driving.
Judah–“You shouldn’t have borrowed the car if you didn’t want to be terrified. With that car, you should expect terror.”
Judah–Walking barefoot through the kitchen, he stops, upset.–“There’s rice on the floor!”
Scruff–That’s where your brother dished up his plate.”
Judah–“There’s a trail of rice all the way to the living room!”
Such are the perils of living with younger brothers.
Me–glancing at my youngest–“How long has it been since you brushed your hair?”
Brennan–“Oh, maybe three weeks.”
Me–Shocked into silence. Surely, it hadn’t been that long. Surely a twelve-year-old knew to brush his hair more than bi-monthly? I mean, what was all the nagging I did for if not to encourage hair and tooth brushing. Had I actually seen him with a hairbrush in hand???
Judah–“Oh, is my hair long enough to brush now?”
Me–I glance at his head of artfully mussed curls–“Yes.”
Judah–“Cause, I haven’t brushed it since you cut it.” Which was four months ago, yikes! Admittedly, it didn’t look tangled, but still … .
Scruffy–I haven’t brushed my hair in years!”
Scruffy–“Yeah, I just run my fingers through it when I get out of the shower, like this.” He demonstrates. “Oh, I have brushed it for dates.”
Hmmm … considering how often we go on dates, it is no wonder my sons do not consider hair-brushing necessary. To be fair, Theo does brush his hair. Yay!
We are hoping to go on a date and arrange for Theo to cook dinner. Our date is cancelled and when Judah hears he pops around the corner–“If you don’t go, could you make something amazing?”
With this in mind, I make homemade pizza. It appears to satisfy their expectations.
One family stays at the camp for a personal retreat. Not having had campers all summer, Leia is very excited! She greets all of their kids, slobbers the toddler, and then stays at camp all day long, stretched out on the patio, waiting for people to trip over her and give her pats.
Theo–The internet is constipated!”
He is correct, it couldn’t handle running a movie. Although, I had never heard it described quite like that.
The boys and a friend sleep out on the camp porch. We scan the area to tell them what cleaning is required before they do something fun.
Scruff–looking at an abandoned box of cake mix–“Did you guys make a cake last night?”
Friend of the boys–“No, Theo ate the cake mix.”
Me–“Right out of the box?”
Friend of the boys–“Yeah, I told him it was a bad idea.”
But that was not the only mess. Apparently, after we told them to go to bed, they also made a whole pot of homemade soup (yes, Theo is cook’s assistant and knows how) and 3 gallons of soupy-thick lunch punch that will surely give them early-onset diabetes. When I imaged my teens getting into trouble, I failed to picture boxes of cake mix and homemade chicken noodle soup!