Boy Quotes
Theo–“When I take over the world, I will allow Memeland to continue as an independent nation because Memeland is awesome. They are worthy!!!”
And what was my budding young tyrant listening to on his phone … 1960’s Paul Harvey.
*
Theo and Brennan wrestling for 2 minutes over soda.
Me–Encouraging them to not hurt one another.
Scruffy–“A little crying is good for you. Builds character.”
Judah–“My, what a terrible father.”
*
Judah–“Ignorance is not bliss. Anyone who says that is ignorant.”
*
Judah–Having trouble explaining something.
Theo–“You no word good!”
Judah– … stares at brother and continues to explain.
Theo–“You no word good!”
Judah–… continues
Theo–“Words … blah!”
*
Brennan–“Global warming.”
Epona–“It’s great for people like me who are easily frozen.”
Theo–“Corn maze!”
*
Brennan–“In my basketball game, I got smooshed by two people running from each side. My rib-holder hurts.”
Epona–“You mean your sternum?”
Brennan–“I’m feeling better.”
Scruffy–“I hurt my sternum once and it hurt for months. Good luck!”
Me–“Did you go to the doctor?”
Scruffy–“Ha, I was in my 20’s.”
Brennan–“Well, I didn’t get run into by 20-year-old muscle hams!”
*
Brennan–“What is Downton Abbey?”
Scruffy–“It’s basically Fire Emblem set in Britain.”
Epona–“I’m 90% rage, right now!”
*
Theo–Opening his Christmas present which was a raven skull walking cane–“Mwahahaha! I feel that I should be resurrecting dinosaurs or something!”
*
Judah–Working on his Lego–“This is ridiculously complex. I love it!”
*
Scruff breaks a belt and tosses it aside. I find it.
Me–“Is this the belt that was broken?”
Judah–With a smirk–“Are you going to reforge the belt that was broken?”
*
Scruffy–About to start a video game that Judah has been teaching him.
Judah–“Dad, are you dong better today? Last time you refused to make any decisions on your own.”
*
Theo–Telling us about the strange new animals he has discovered online.
Scruffy–“I believe a lot of things about Australia, but I have trouble believing in a possum-eating spider.”
Theo–“I’ll believe anything about Australia.”
*
Theo–“I haven’t had enough cheese today to be this evil.”
Me–“Cheese is evil?”
Theo–“Cheese is the root of all evil!”
*
Theo–Applies online to sell his face to robot manufacturers.
Theo–“Bomber, have you sold your face to the robot people?”
*
I clean a spot for the Christmas tree. Then tell the boys, “Don’t you dare put anything there.”
Later, I find a piece of paper sitting directly in the center of the clean spot. On the paper is written a single word in Brennan’s handwriting, “Anything.”
*
Theo–“Achoobljsfsbbbp!”
Theo–“Achoooogrrrrr!”
Epona–“Was that a sneeze?”
Theo–“I’m the evil midnight bomber what bombs at midnight … of course it was a sneeze!”
*
Me–“Where is your shirt?”–seeing that he has wrapped a blanket around his bare chest.
Theo–“I don’t have a shirt … but someone stole my phone and replaced it with a small green monkey!” Bomber or Kanga put baby Yoda Lego in place of phone.
Epona–“Are you releasing your inner Roman by wearing that toga?”
Theo–“There’s a reason Romance has Roman in it!”
*
Judah–“I don’t understand how your voice can have such volume.”
Theo–“That’s not volume. That’s corn maze!!!”
*
Theo–“Surfing with victory on a wave of …” he thinks for a moment, “something cool!”
*
Theo–“I need my phone … sniff”
Bomber–“I think he’s sniffing for his phone.”
Epona–“This alarms me. What does your phone smell like?”
*
Theo–“Mirrors do not reflect time.
Bomber–“What if I set a mirror by my herb garden?”
*
Theo–“Can I hath muncheth and cruncheth of the yellow goodness?” –Chips
*
Theo–Contentedly–“Food makes the sun shine a little less.”
*
Theo–“In America I’m … a medium level minion and a level seven consumer.”
*
Theo–“I don’t have an evil lair, therefore I cannot scheme.”
*
Kanga–“I want cookies today.”
Theo–“You’re such a child, Kanga.”
*
Scruffy–“Bacon is forever.”
Boo Boo–“Bacon may not last forever, but it does last a very long time.”
*
Camo Man–“Wherever there is a good shovel, there is hope.” climbing onto Grandpa’s woodshed to shovel off 5 feet of snow.
*
Scruffy–speaking to Judah while he drives–“Can you drive a winter road while dodging a rubber chicken?” Menaces oldest son with chicken while he is driving, but does not actually attack … for safety reasons.
*
Bomber–“I am worried for the safety and wellbeing of my velociraptor?” She made one out of a sticky note.
*
Scruffy–“Dauntless, are you here next weekend?”
Dauntless–In a very sad voice–“No, I’ll be in Hawaii.”
*
Judah–“Brennan, put my sword back! I don’t trust you. Never do that again!”
Brennan had simply picked it up.
*
Scruffy–“Wait! None of these movies have zombies in them!”
Kanga–“Or monsters.”
Scruffy–“Well … that depends how comfortable you are with the animation in Storks.”
*
Epona–“In heaven, I am most excited to sword fight the angels because no one will be able to get hurt! It would be like Smash Bros … but in real life.”
*
Scruffy–“There are worse things than facial hair.”
‘Merica–“Yeah, taxes.”
*
Scruffy–speaking of Boo Boo–“I have to make her mad a lot, so she’ll remember me when I’m gone.”
*
Epona–“At least in heaven I’ll be able to fight all the bears I want without dying.”
*
Theo–“I have not been bitten by any technological snakes.”
*
Me–“I will be victorious, I will pull your pants up!” –Yes, our blond son was wearing scandalously low trousers to school and I chased him around the house with a belt. Thankfully, his father got him a black studded belt that is properly ominous and he has condescended to wear it. This was before that belt.
*
Bomber to Epona–“Much to Epona’s chagrin, I think that any chocolate is lint flavored if you leave it in your pocket long enough.”
*
Epona–“Why would you have to run efficiently when you’re pretending to be a horse, Judah!”
*
Bomber–“If it will give you preace of mind–
Judah–“–My mind is in so many pieces.”
*
Scruffy–speaking about winter driving–“He’s not going to die. This could be a mistake he learns from. If you die, that’s a mistake you’ll never make again.”
*
Scruffy–to Theo after another chopping incident with new knives–“If you loose your thumb–“
Bomber–“You are one more step away from being a raccoon.”
*
Bomber–talking about Theo and Brennan being back at school–“It’s so inconvenient when your minions start getting an education!”
*
Kanga–“It’s either logic or philosophy.”
Theo–“Well, I don’t like flossing.”
