Scruffy–“You decided to move out in the summer and this didn’t give us much time to prepare.”
Me–Sniffs away tears as our son prepares to move.
Judah–“What could you have possibly done to prepare? Besides learn to put the toilet paper on the dispenser. Every time I use your bathroom I have to do it myself.”
We are definitely going to miss all that delightful sarcasm. Love my boys!
Theo–While swimming in the river–“Ow, I hurt my finger trying to push Brennan under the water.” Brennan pops up from beneath the rushing river, gasps for air, and attacks Theo one more time.
Scruffy and boys playing games …
Brennan–“I can’t decide who to attack.”
Judah–“Just roll a die.” He eats some of his own stash of sour gummy worms.
Brennan–“Roll me some of those and I’ll attack Dad.”
Judah–Gives Brennan a handful of sour gummies.
Brennan–Attacks his Dad and then looks at Scruffy and says, “You should have raised your son with more integrity.”
Scruffy–“But I still get a Dad tax,” as he takes a worm.
Theo–says a dad joke of some kind.
Me–“You’re not allowed to use dad jokes, you’re not a dad.”
Judah–“Yes he is!”
Me–“What? He’s a dad?”
Gasps of horror from all three sons.
Theo–The girls he works with in the kitchen buy him 4 gallons of sweet tea and leave them on his desk while we are on vacation. Also, a piece of pie. He is thrilled and proceeds to guzzle the tooth-rotting drink straight from the jug. He has also been hankering to watch a zombie show, even though I am not a zombie fan.
Theo–“I’m drinking this sweet tea right in front of you, Mom!”
Me–“You should brush your teeth.
Theo–“I would brush my teeth even more if we watched something with zombies.”
So what do you think? Is this a good way to get a seventeen-year-old to brush more???
Back when we were building Legos together at Christmas time
Me–“Look at how fast I’m going–Oops!”
Judah–“Just like Theo’s driving.”
Theo–Deeply offended–“Hey, I drive better than Mom Legos!”
Brennan–“Graaaaak Srobaroiiiiiii Arkulb!”
Judah–“Ah, the unhinged Brennan noises return.”
He has been accused of sounding like a Chupacabra when he makes his random Brennan sounds.
I am trying to communicate with the boys and Judah hears me but Brennan does not.
Me–“I’m not sure if your headphones are more powerful or if your ears are less powerful than Judah’s.”
Brennan–“My ears are definitely less powerful. He has hyper-colloquialism!”
It is actually hyperacusis, ha!
Since Judah moved out, there has been much debate about who will have “The Moose Room” Theo and Brennan’s current room and who will move into Judah’s old room. They both want their own room, but The Moose Room is bigger, has more available shelving (Scruff put boardgames on the shelves in Judah’s room), and has the giant head of a moose that my grandfather bequeathed me. This moose looms over Brennan’s bed looking impressive. It’s a good thing we don’t have very many earthquakes. Theo says because he is older he gets The Moose Room. Brennan says that “Moose Proximity” grants him The Moose Room. They have been arguing for a month with Brennan demanding $30, then $50 and finally $1,000 to make him move. Yes, we are all aware that the bargaining was backwards but did this make them any more reasonable? No, no it did not, ha! I was fine with them sharing a room as we would then have a guest room!
But now, they have come to an agreement. While playing a computer game with Scruff, Judah, Theo, and Brennan all in the same game Theo had some followers that both Scruffy and Brennan wanted. Brennan shouted out this deal: “I’ll move out of The Moose Room for those fifty followers and $30!”
Theo shouted back, “Deal!!!” and the decision was made.
Theo to Brennan–“I sneeze better than you can talk!”