The Harrowing/Heartwarming Parent Moment of the Week

Sweet Boy#1–I discover that my oldest has vandalized the small book crate in their bedroom with a permanent marker. What foul phrase appeared in graffiti…the word “healthy” but spelled like this: “helthy”.

Sweet Boy#1 and Sweet Boy#2–Are playing train. One of them has the “king” train and one of them has the “queen” train and each of their trains has rallied an army of stuffed animals to stand behind it and then the army splits up and surrounds the bad guys and one of the boys is forced to deploy the “vampire bat bomb” (a paintball smashed onto the kitchen linoleum), but Sweet Boy#2 finds this kind of rampant marital strife unacceptable and so chooses another “king” train for himself so that civil war does not occur within their train family. They continue with a more acceptable battle in which two kings from different countries brutally attack one another and everyone is happy.

I take all three boys into the urologist because one boy had an appointment. Mostly there were old folk in the waiting room and they did not provide toys, so while I did have some books I brought to read, I spent the whole time seizing boys and dragging them off of chairs and walls and the examination table and from underneath tables and kept having to prevent them from poking the “warm” button on the table stirrups and grabbing the stethoscope and getting in the blinds and climbing on the counter…Have you ever tried to take 3 small boys into a restroom for one of them to get a urine sample? Employ your imagination and you will gain some small sliver of understanding regarding the truly harrowing experience that we survived.