Sweet Boy#1–“Can’t breath. (Sweet Boy#2) had a toxic toot!”
Sweet Boy#2–Laughing–“But Daddy has even more toxic giant cloudy toots.”
Sweet Boy#1–“Actually, I think yours are more toxic, they make you cough…” He then displays a fit of coughing to illustrate.
Sweet Boy#2–Cries of anguish arise from the bedroom–“Where is pink pillowcase?”–Apparently Daddy committed the unpardonable sin and sent the beloved “pink pillowcase” into the washer machine…you know, because of all the dirt and sweat and tears streaked across the surface. He did not repent from his terrible actions, but he did find “pink pillowcase’s” identical twin to ease Sweet Boy#2’s sorrows.
I catch Sweet Boy#2 burping to the tune of Billy Ray Cyrus’s “Achy Breaky Heart” on the car ride home from church.
I take the three boys and one of their friends shopping with me after church. We make a game of it in order to forestall insanity. But when Sweet Boy#3 leads a chant of–“Left, Left. Left. Right. Left” and we march in a fashion matching our chant throughout the store Sweet Boy#1 whispers something in my ear. “Make him stop Momma. This is embarrassing.” I reply that while it is embarrassing it is also sweet and innocent fun. He informs me–“No, it’s just embarrassing.”–This is a big moment for our family. This utterance marks the first time one of my children has stated that his family is embarrassing. I think it is going to be all downhill for him from here on out. We have always been embarrassing, now he realizes this. Embarrassments galore are sure to follow. Poor guy.