Theo–“Giant robots are the way to go.”
Judah–“I thought you wanted giant titanium laser blimps?”
Theo–“Well, blimps are more unique, but giant robots are more economical.”
Scruffy–“I said it wasn’t safe. I didn’t say not to do it.”
Theo singing along with Weird Al–“Mumumumumu, my Bologna!”
Brennan–“Your singing is soooooo bad!”
Theo–“YOUR singing is soooooo bad!”
Brennan–“That’s why I don’t sing.”
Theo–“Your talking is sooo bad!”
Brennan–“Your face is sooo bad!”
Theo–“YOUR face is sooo bad!”
Brennan–“Your mom is sooo bad!”
Their mother sighs and continues with her day.
Hiccup–“As a mentally unstable person, I know one when I see one.”
Scruff tosses mustard across the kitchen as they are working to clean out the walk-in cooler at camp. He almost hits our oldest who protests the mustard attack. Scruffy–“Judah, when I’m ready to take you out I won’t use Dijon mustard … I’ll use sweet hot mustard!”
Brennan–“The difference between glasses and no glasses [for me] is like the difference between regular yogurt and probiotic yogurt.”
Scruffy–“It warms the pineapple like it warms my heart.”
Me, trying to get Theo to eat some breakfast–“Your physical and mental health require fuel.”
Judah–“Ha, mental health is not something I associate with Theo.”
A different day.
Me–“Did you eat something?”
Me–“But those hurt your stomach!” –It is true. He suffers hours of pain after consuming peanuts.
Older High School Girl–“Are you, Theo?”
Older High School Girl–“Your Hair is legendary!”
So … as a mother, should I be concerned???
A friend of mine comes across a letter from a relative during WWI where people thought that the Spanish Flu would blow away in the wind. Our family discusses this:
Judah–“At least they knew it was spread by air.”
Dauntless (camp intern)–“It’s better than witches.”
Theo–“Witches are also spread by air.”
Scruffy–“How much do you love me?”
Theo–“Not at all …” He looks and sees that his dad is holding a whole box of ice cream drumsticks. “… A lot!”
Scruffy–“Who says you can’t buy love?”
Theo–“Humor is my weapon of choice. It’s very fatal!”
Scruffy–“Are you sure you want to wear jeans to Valhalla and back?” –We are hiking to Lake Valhalla, but when one considers Norse mythology, the sentence takes on a whole new meaning, ha!
Scruffy–“Turn off your monitor, Theo.”
Judah–“Or I could just flip the power switch on the back of your desktop?”
Theo–“Or I could just flip your face out the window!”
Ahhhh … brotherly love!
Judah–“I don’t remember him (Theo) being that much taller than me.”
Epona (camp intern)–“It’s because you’ve been busy at camp.”
Theo–“And I’m getting better at looming!”
And for anyone who is wondering what authentic teen dialogue really sounds like. I gleaned this conversation while the boys were playing Terraria with a friend who signed into the game as “Dad”.
Judah–“Brennan let all the zombies into our house!”
Theo–“We need bombs and we need them fast!”
Judah–“I swear, if you let off bombs in my house I will evict you forever!”
Brennan–“Why can’t I get into the house? I was trying to kill the zombies.”
Judah–“Brennan … don’t you dare try to make a solution. You broke the floor of my house.”
Brennan–“It was an accident, I’m bad at placing dirt.”
Judah–“Stay on the top floor while I fix this. Brennan, I’m talking to you!”
Friend who signed in as “Dad”–“The house will be much nicer without zombies.”
Theo–Cackling with evil laughter.
Brennan–“You betrayed me!!! My dad will kill you!”
Friend who signed in as “Dad”–“No, I won’t.”