You call that a scowl?

12-11-2018

Sweet Boy#2–“You call that a scowl?”

Mom–“I don’t want to waste one of my scowls. I’ll save it for an opportune moment.”

Sweet Boy#2–“Because of the scowl tax?

Mom–“Yes.”

Sweet Boy#2–“It was expensive, but I paid the premium scowl tax. I have unlimited scowls!”–I believe him, this kid is the King of scowls and he uses them liberally!

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Sweet Boy#2–“It’s a perfect day, the sky is gray as can be.”

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Sweet Boy#2–When I tell him that I found my hairbrush, a random candy wrapper, and one of our house phones on his bunk. “My bed is ravenous!” –It’s true, we have found all sorts of things hidden inside that heap of blankets and rubble.

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A Friend of Sweet Boy#2–“OK, Kristen. Prepare yourself!” He then leads in Sweet Boy#2 who has somehow managed to dye both his hair and hands blue/green while at school that day.

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Sweet Boy#2 teaches me how to play Halo. I then enact “The Great Ceiling Slaughter of 2018” wherein I shoot out all of the ceilings in the Halo world as I run about the inside of various bunkers with my head permanently crinked upwards because I cannot get the silly controls to work properly. Apparently, one toggle controls your legs and where you are running, while a second toggle controls your head and where you are looking. I spent a great deal of time running off cliffs, into rivers, into giant boulders and the sides of moving vehicles, and (quite tragically) shooting my allies instead of the aliens because I could not see properly due to this head tilting malfunction that ailed me. Sweet Boy#2 spent most of his time shouting out helpful things like: “This way Mom! You’re running the wrong way! Go upstairs, go upstairs, they’re coming. Faster, you’re going to die.” And of course his favorites, “That was a marine,” and “You just shot me!” It was quite an adventure for this forty-year-old mom and an exercise in patience for my thirteen-year-old son!