Harrowing/Heartwarming Parent Moment of the Week
A battle occurs in our small two-bedroom apartment. Theo charges Judah with a broom and throws a box of Cheetos mac-n-cheese at him for some unknown reason.
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Theo dishes up ice cream. Instead of a spoon, he gives Scuff a bulb syringe.
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Theo loses wallet. We furiously look everywhere. Scruff finds it, in the garbage, in the pair of pants with the immodestly placed tears that I forcefully took from Theo (he wanted to keep them forever) and threw away!
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Theo is cooking for Spanish class. He leaves the kitchen briefly and comes back to find a baguette on fire!
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Brennan is working in the kitchen and Kanga asks him to carry a 2 gallon bag of mac-n-cheese to our house. Somehow, the bag opens and is a giant soggy mess in his arms. He stumbles inside, oozing macaroni everywhere. Macaroni on the steps, on my chair, in the kitchen, in Scruffy’s shoes and also in Scruff’s boots.
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I find a continuity error in my WIP. I have my doggy heroine eat a toy ferret once … but throw it up on two completely separate occasions!
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Kanga tosses a pine needle bunch up in the air a bops it with her hand as though playing badminton. The pine needle bunch viscously stabs her hand, even drawing blood!
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I am making Hungarian Goulash in the crockpot and as I am loading the crockpot while doing an online writing class, I rub cumin on my eyelid. It didn’t get in my eye, but just getting on the eyelid it soaked through the lid and was very troublesome. Don’t get cumin on your eyelids folks, even after washing face, it still burns.
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We are taking dinner to Grandpa Del. I carry a dish of fresh rolls down the stairs. I trip, but catch myself. I hand the rolls to Judah. He falls on the icy driveway, lands on his stomach, and slides across the ice, but he saves the rolls. The rolls go skidding across the ice on their own. Leia gallops after the rolls in eager expectation! Theo grabs Leia by the scruff on her neck, saving the rolls again. As I walk back up the stairs, I trip again. Argh!
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Brennan buys hot sauce called “Satan’s Blood!” I refuse to try a flavor with such a nefarious title. But it comes in a really cool and scary looking bottle like what one might find in Dr. Frankenstein’s lab. I pick up the bottle to look. There is some oil from the hot sauce on the outside of the bottle. I leave to talk with someone and forget to wash the hot sauce oil off my hands. I rub my eyelid. Once again the heat soaks right through the lid into my eye! I have my head under the sink running water and splashing it in my eye, alternating with splashing half-n-half from the fridge (milk products cut the heat) and the phone rings. Brennan says, “Yeah, she’s here.” And tries to hand me the phone. Ah, the life of a mom.
