Judah–“Theo, there’s a difference between school and villainy.”

*

Theo–“You know that game where you make a chain of monkeys? What if you could really do that! If you froze them!” He looks up at the camp balcony above us as we sit playing a board game. “I just looked up and could picture myself hanging from a chain of frozen monkeys!!!”

*

We were playing Code Names together and Brennan was staring at the board, trying to find a clue that connected the words he wanted his team to guess.

Brennan–“Bluhbluhbluhbluhbluhhhhh.”

Scruffy–“For how many?”

Theo–“If I had a Death Star, I’d blow up all the planets!

Judah–“That’s why you don’t get one.”

*

I was reading The Shepherd, The Angel, and Walter The Christmas Miracle Dog out loud to Scruff and the boys. There are “car ants” in this book that bite people.

Brennan–“Do you have bed ants?”

Theo–“I have stomach ants! When I’m hungry they crawl out of my stomach and gather food for me.”

Me–“What would you like with your tea?”

Theo–“The blood of my enemies!”

I sense that someone might just have read Skyward by Brandon Sanderson one too many times.

*

I was trying to find the live video our church puts on facebook as I gathered sleepy sons in the living room on Sunday morning.

Judah–“It’s kind of impressive that we’re still late for church, even though we don’t have to go there.”

*

Theo–Informs me that he will be growing his hair down to his waist and filling it with huge metal rings braided into his locks in a manner reminiscent of the Vikings of old!

Brennan–Draws a mustache on his face with a pen while doing his chores.

Also while doing his chores and nibbling a fresh molasses cookie

Brennan–“Oh, no! I accidentally threw my cookies! I guess I need another.”

Me–“No, go find the one that you lost.”

Brennan–“It’s in my room. I can’t.”

This is true, a quest to find the accidentally launched cookie was fruitless. I think they really need to clean their room! Don’t worry, Princess Leia Freyja will help them find that rogue cookie.

Judah was getting such a case of Cabin Fever that we sent him to the grocery store to run errands for us and he jumped at the chance.

Judah–“That wasn’t enough money.”

Me–“What?”

Judah–“Just the vanilla cost twenty dollars.”

Me–realizing that in my head I had decided to get a small bottle of imitation vanilla, just enough to finish the Christmas cookies. What I wrote down on my seventeen-year-old son’s grocery list: vanilla.

Me–“There wasn’t a smaller bottle?”

Judah–“Yeah, there was one for twelve dollars, but the price per ounce wasn’t as good.”

He is his father’s son!

Scruffy– tries to figure out a hand-held puzzle that Brennan got for his birthday.

Me–“Brennan had to show me.”

Theo–“I saw it and knew immediately how to do it. You two are old people and can’t learn.”

*

Me–“Theo, why are you frolicking around without your shirt?”

Theo–“Because I spilled ice cream on my shirt.”

Brennan–Walks by in undies. “I spilled ice cream on my pants.”

Me–“Ahhhhhh!” 

*

Theo reads about a 24-foot Japanese Spider  Crab

Theo–“I want a huge one and I want a saddle for it!”

Judah–“Anyone Theo marries wouldn’t last very long since they’d be insane and do something crazy.”

Theo–“Like take over the world!”

Me–“Is that what you’re looking for, a girl who takes over the world?”

Theo–“Yes! With me!”

Judah–“Using weaponized rats.”

Theo–“And giant Japanese spider crabs on land!”

OK, girls. If you are out there searching and searching for a wonderful young man who wants to take over the world with weaponized rats and giant spider crabs … well, we know someone who might interest you.

*

Judah–“Candy corn hurts my soul.”

I cannot remember what led to this conversation. But we will pick up in the middle of it.

Judah–“Because of day light’s savings.”

Me–“Because of daylight’s losings.”

Brennan–“Your face is daylight’s losings.”

Judah–“Your momma is daylight’s losings.”

Me–Joining in despite knowing where this always leads–“Your momma is daylight’s losings.”

Judah–“Ha! I love familial Yo Momma Jokes!”

Me–“When Judah moves out of the house, we’ll change it.”

Brennan–“As if Judah’s ever going to move out!”

Judah–“I’ll move out gladly! And then I’ll finally have a clean room!!!”

*

Theo–“Dad made me do it.”

Me–“Hey Scruff, where’s your good fatherly influence?”

Theo–“He doesn’t haven one of those … or it only went into our peskiness!”

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